Like any other plan, it's important to know what kind of timeline and resources you're working with or are willing to work with. I've always expected planning a wedding to be overwhelming, stressful, and exciting all at the same time. And from what I've heard from my friends and seen on TV, it could certifiably drive people crazy. But I guess I didn't know how all that really felt until Joe and I started really getting into it yesterday.
The first thing we talked about was the date.
Figuring out when wasn't as easy as we thought it would be. It took us almost the entire day to figure out what day was ideal and we still don't know exactly when we're getting married. We had to figure out our feasible timelines, consider holidays, and other things that might be happening in other people's lives. So far we came up with five possible dates between September and October. And that still depends on whether or not we can afford to do it by then.
So the next logical subject was: Budget. Now this is a whole 'nother monster. We started with an amount that we could save per month and the number that we were comfortable spending for a wedding and a honeymoon.
Thank god for TheKnot.com's budgeting tools, we now have a clear idea of exactly what we can't afford. There's a nice price tag for the wedding and an even bigger one for our mental health. Who new the cost for chairs, linens, and place cards could add up? Or were even a budget factor? I guess if you're having a party, you'll have to have make sure your guests could have the option of sitting somewhere.
The website's "simple" budget suggests six major categories: Reception, Attire & Beauty, Ceremony, Photography, and Wedding Rings. And, these categories consist of over forty line items from rentals, food service, church to the tiniest possible details, like place cards. I realize most brides would say, "it's the basics and it's normal." Fortunately for us, I am not most brides. I thought I would be. I thought I'd feel excited about planning a big show! But the truth is, all I really want is a small church wedding in Italy, with both our families there, and have a nice family dinner afterwards. But being that this is reality, we all have to make compromises. So we did.
We can't have a small wedding, we can't fly to Italy, and we wanted to keep our sanity. Four hours and four math-heavy spreadsheets with twenty-something probabilities later (thanks to my Joseph), we decided on two things:
#1.We're going to have the intimate wedding that I wanted. A church in NYC, our families, and a nice dinner.
#2.The next day, we'll have a big celebration with the rest of our families and friends. BUT, we do away with the tiny little things that makes the difference between a wedding reception and a great time: no limousines, center pieces and florists, and no shrimp cocktails and pigs in a blanket. All the minute details we would normally have to plan and coordinate, that according to TheKnot.com would normally run us between $3,000 - $5,000 would be crossed off the list!
It's the perfect marriage of intimacy and celebration! I get what I want, he gets what he wants, and we both get a big party. The best part? I get to wear my dress twice! And, in stead of the fifty "basic" line items, we would only have to think about three:
1. Church
2. Dinner reservations for family on Friday
3. Food and booze for 100 people on Saturday
Now, let's call some churches...
I just talked to our friend, Rose Prior, (John's mom). She works for BTi Travel. She e-maled me today and said she would love to be able to help out. She would be able to secure a block of rooms anywhere you want, she said she has very good contacts in the city. She can set up a web registration with all details, provide a link to everyone so they can book their room. The site can be very informational complete with directions to and from church; reception; hotel; pictures of the both of you guys. Just some info. I thought I should share with you.
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